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 This Sunflower Will Not Resemble The Creepy "teletubbies" Sun Baby, Wednesday 3/28, 8:30 AM // Frankie
Equinox
 Posted: May 22 2018, 12:32 AM
QUOTE.  


Lucas Knox had avoided his girlfriend the past two days. How could he face her? After everything they'd been through—after promising himself to never fail her again—he'd essentially abandoned Frankie. He'd treated her as a stranger. He'd set their relationship back to the stone age (or pre-Abrahamic times, as Lucas preferred). He'd called Hogwarts a school for mutants! Somehow that seemed the most forgivable affront, but it, too, would linger in his memory.

Lucas wished he could forget his amnesia, but memories of last week remained ever present. The most he could do was try to repair the damage.

He'd been dreading this moment since awakening drenched in sweat two nights ago with his memory restored. Fortunately, Spring Break meant no classes. Rather than immediately confront the situation, he'd turned his cell phone off and ventured into Breakstone Woods to clear his mind. That was where Lucas made another discovery: his mutation had evolved. He still didn't grasp the full extent of these new powers, but after a couple hours of exploration they seemed less dangerous than his previous set.

Back in the present, he stood before Frankie's door and knocked twice. As soon as it opened, Lucas backed away and conjured up a faint smile. "Hi," he said before looking at his shuffling feet. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: May 22 2018, 10:44 AM
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The situation with Lucas’s memory had not left Frankie’s mind. She knew he couldn’t help it and she didn’t blame him, but she just… well… in the long run, hypothetically, if they were still together this time next year, it meant she would get to know him better and better, and he would keep meeting her for the first time.

She had been thinking about that, and trying not to think about that, as she sat at her sewing machine working steadily along a jagged seam that, if she succeeded, would give this purse teeth. Literally. She was making a monster purse so it would “bite” her hand when she reached in for something.

She paused when she heard a knock at the door. Copper, previously lying at her feet, raised his head, and padded after her as she went to see who it was.

“Oh! Hey, Lucas.” Well… he looked happy to see her. That was something. “Sure. Let me get my shoes.”

This was… surprising. Frankie wasn’t really sure she to make of it; they hadn’t really talked much. Or spent much time together. He was dealing with his own stuff and Frankie understood that, she just hated that someone she cared about was hurting and he couldn’t even recognize her as someone who cared for him.

She buttoned her cardigan and tied on her sneakers. With Copper at her heels, she headed back for the door and gave Lucas a quick smile. “Let’s go.”


Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: May 25 2018, 03:50 PM
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Lucas hadn't brought a gift. He usually brought a gift. Why hadn't he brought a gift? The old Lucas would have brought a gift. He'd have to make up for that next time with two gifts.

His nerves mildly subsided when Frankie smiled. That beautiful smile was truly a panacea. No matter what hardships life cast their way, Lucas hoped it would always be there to light the path home. Copper hadn't seen Lucas since the second incident (the first being the incident at the museum; they had far too many incidents). He pawed at Lucas's right ankle to request that the human offer head rubs. Who could say no to that? "I've missed you, buddy," Lucas said as he bent down to pet Copper. If this recognition didn't hint at Lucas's return to normal, he wasted no time in clarifying.

"I remember everything," Lucas explained as they walked down the hall toward the staircase. He offered Frankie his hand in hopes that this gesture might back up his subsequent verbal apology. "I remember you. I remember Copper. I remember...us." He offered a faint smile, but this soon transformed into a frown.

"I also remember everything we've been through during this crappy month," he continued, uttering the closest thing to an expletive that would ever cross Lucas's lips. Between Frankie's time in medbay and Lucas's amnesia, March hadn't been kind to the Xavier School's "it couple". Upon reaching the ground floor, they exited the front door and continued walking toward the woods."Worst of all, I remember not remembering, and the pain that caused you. I'm so sorry, Frankie. I wish I could promise that it won't happen again, but..."

He trailed off, unable to make that promise. It had happened once; what was to stop it from happening again?

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: May 26 2018, 11:25 AM
QUOTE.  


I’ve missed you.

Now, Frankie wouldn’t have taken scratching Copper’s head as a sign that Lucas remembered, not on its own. Copper was a friendly enough puppy either with people he trusted or with Frankie nearby. And he was lovable! It would take a monster (or a person with allergies) to resist those big eyes! And Lucas was neither.

But he wouldn’t have said he missed Copper if he didn’t remember him, and if he hadn’t been so calm and controlled about the whole business and clearly saying something he had wanted to say, she would have hugged him. So she took his hand and waited patiently.

When he was finished, she squeezed his hand and stopped walking.

“Hey.”


He had done this his way.

Her turn.

And the weird thing was, they weren’t that physical. They held hands. But Lucas was reserved, and Frankie didn’t, in general, want to push him even though, you know, just maybe if they were going to watch a movie they didn’t need as much… or any… distance between them on the couch.

But he had literally lost his mind, and he was back now. She hugged him tightly.

“I don’t care. You came back. That’s all that matters.”


It probably would happen again. That was what Frankie believed, what she had been turning over and over in her head, but—a week? They could handle a week.

When she pulled away, she added, unable to suppress a smile, “There’s just one more thing… tell me you remember what Harry Potter is.”


Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: May 31 2018, 10:48 PM
QUOTE.  


Lucas had played through about 14 million different scenarios in his head. Oddly, none of these had ended with Frankie pulling him into a forgiving embrace. Why hadn't he expected this? Frankie was arguably the most compassionate individual he'd ever met. He should have anticipated this exact response.

Maybe Lucas felt he didn't merit such grace. Perhaps he wanted someone to hold him responsible for his actions because he hadn't quite forgiven himself. Lucas had always chosen to see the best in everyone.

Everyone except himself.

Five months ago (let's be honest—three), he would have clammed up at Frankie's embrace. He would have frozen in place, retreated into a shell, and escaped into his own little world. Heck, that was exactly what he'd attempted these past twenty four hours.

Though caught off guard by the tightness of the embrace, Lucas showed progress by returning it. His next move surprised even him, as he slowly ran his fingers along the back of Frankie's shoulders. He had no earthly idea what he was doing, but this just seemed the right thing to do?

"You came back first," he replied, trying to lighten the mood. "I'd be a jerk if I didn't return the favor. If I can't promise anything else, I promise I'll always come back for you."

Hopefully they could put this last month behind them and proceed as a normal couple—or as normal as this life would allow. As she pulled away and made the Harry Potter comment, Lucas returned the smile. Of course she had to bring that up.

"Oh, of course," he replied, unable to refrain from teasing a bit. She started it! "He's the one who becomes friends with all the children of Greek gods, right?"

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: May 31 2018, 11:26 PM
QUOTE.  


Oh, gosh, he was touching her.

And hands on shoulders was intimate for them! Frankie didn’t know how to react to that. She liked it. A shiver went through her, one that came out a little shift in posture.

It wasn’t a big thing.

But it was enough to stir a different part of Frankie, a sense that turned her cheeks pink when they were back to talking, back to themselves.

Back to book banter.

Frankie grinned, because if two could play at that game… might as well keep playing. “No, silly, you’re thinking about that Christian romance.” She hadn’t mentioned it since it happened, that first day they met when she helped him set up his Goodreads account.

She didn’t know where she would have gone with their exchange after that. She would never find out, because they were interrupted by a doleful whine. Copper gave her literal and figurative puppy-dog eyes. They promised him outside! What were they doing!? This wasn’t outside. Outside had grass! And more space! And running! And pleeeeease.


Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 1 2018, 01:47 PM
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The Christian romance.

Lucas's cheeks immediately turned pallid, though they eventually regained and even over-corrected their hue. He'd never forget the embarrassment he'd felt that day! At least his first impression hadn't scared Frankie away. Or his second. Or his third.

"Yeah, well...." He tried to come up with a clever retort, but nothing would beat that. Fortunately, Copper offered a way out by reminding them both that walks typically required sunshine, fresh air, and open space. As soon as Lucas opened the front door, the pupster bolted past him and literally barrel-rolled into the grass. This overwhelming cuteness brought a smile to Lucas's lips, but he soon re-focused on the even cuter human walking beside him.

"Hey, I've got something to show you," Lucas told Frankie upon remembering one of the reasons for their outdoor excursion. Copper would surely follow them once his initial excitement waned. Not once breaking his grasp on Frankie's hand, Lucas led her toward the forest tree-line. "So you know how my mutation....erm, evolves?" He didn't like that word and its connotations for less-than-intelligent design, but in this case it fit. "Well I think I've figured it out a bit more. When I first got here last Fall, I could control the wind. Then it was ice. Well now that it's Spring...."

A patch of yellow surrounded the otherwise verdant area between trees. As they approached the woods, the indiscernable yellow transformed into a small sunflower garden. Lucas didn't know whether he should pick one or allow the flowers to remain in their natural state. For now, he chose to leave them.

"I also remembered you like sunflowers," he said.

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 2 2018, 11:25 AM
QUOTE.  


“You made me a garden…” she said, more than a little breathless. As soon as she realized what it was, she knew this was for her. And he had known to leave them in the ground! Even though cut flowers were a nice gesture, this was a thousand times better. These were alive. They would stay beautiful and bright and alive.

Frankie pressed a hand to her mouth. She didn’t know what to say to this! It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. It may have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for anyone.

She only had the one free hand, since the other wasn’t letting go of Lucas, so she moved from covering her mouth to brushing back an actual tear she couldn’t stop.

“This is amazing!”



Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 3 2018, 11:02 PM
QUOTE.  


Lucas often doubted himself, as already exemplified by a fear that he'd harmed Frankie and his subsequent voluntary isolation. Once they reached the garden, however, he couldn't help but give himself a little self-congratulatory pat on the back. Maybe he could do this whole boyfriend thing ever all.

Then came the tear.

Oh no. Good tear or bad tear? He held his breath, and Frankie would have felt his hand tense between her fingers. Fortunately, the response was overwhelmingly positive!

"Well you're amazing, so you deserved something amazing!" Ugh, that was too generic. He continued, hoping to come up with a better compliment than that in a minute or so. Sometimes words were hard. "I think I'm going to like this one better than my other powers. I can't accidentally hurt anyone. And I won't have to worry about freezing you when we..."

He caught himself just in time. Whew, that was close.

"But I'm glad you like it," he quickly changed the subject. "I saw a picture on the Internet from this movie about a big fish or something, and he filled an entire field with daffodils." Obviously Lucas couldn't have done that without seriously annoying the grounds crew.

Frankie Kennedy-Park

This post has been edited by Equinox: Jun 3 2018, 11:02 PM
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 5 2018, 06:30 PM
QUOTE.  


When Lucas trailed off—wait, was he thinking about… doing more than holding hands? Did he—had he thought about that? Because Frankie had thought about that. Not in detail or anything. But she hadn’t not thought about Lucas in slightly more intimate detail. Like… what would it be like to kiss him? And also, the sheer mechanics, he was so much taller than she was!

But anyway.

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze to let him know he didn’t need to be embarrassed. She thought about that stuff, too, for eventually.

“It wasn’t Blackfish, was it?”
Frankie asked, trying to figure out the movie Lucas had watched. Not that this was the point, but she loved orcas, so naturally her mind went there. Of course she knew they were mammals, but ‘Blackfish’ and ‘Big Fish’ sounded quite close. And Frankie had never heard of a movie called Big Fish.

Actually now that he mentioned it, Blackfish might be one they could share. Unlike some documentaries, like Dinosaur 13, which might be a bit much for Lucas. Frankie knew he wasn’t exactly comfortable with dinosaurs… which reminded her of the day that kicked off a couple of very rough weeks.

Frankie let her hand slip from Lucas’s to step over to one of the sunflowers. She cupped one of the flowers gently, the broad flowers nearly hiding her hands.

“This is really incredible,”
she said, turning back to Lucas, “and I think your power is amazing, too. We’re all a part of the same world, Lucas. I know it’s… I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. But what could be more natural than the seasons being a part of you? Or being able to make something beautiful like this?”

His feelings weren’t a secret. But this was a time, Frankie thought, to point how amazing he was.



Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 8 2018, 05:39 PM
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Lucas had only kissed one person in his life: his mother. Not that the thought of kissing Frankie was in any way comparable to kissing his mother on the cheek. And honestly, Lucas had thought about it. (Frankie—not his mother.)

Often.

He may have been a well-intentioned Christian teenager, but he remained a teenager. Hormones often took on a mind of their own, especially when in the presence of such a cute girl. But how would that even work? Would Lucas have to bend over? Would Frankie stand on her toes? Their height dilemma abated when sitting or lying down. But that last option made things even worse, and HE SHOULDN'T HAVE SUCH THOUGHTS!

Anyway.

"I don't think so," he responded. "I think it was just called 'Big Fish'. There wasn't even a fish in any of the pictures. Unless it's about a guy that can turn into a fish." That sounded absolutely ridiculous, but so did most mutant abilities.

When Frankie stepped away to touch the flower, Lucas allowed his mind to wander again. How long did couples normally date before their first kiss? Lucas didn't want Frankie to think he wasn't interested in that, but he didn't want their first kiss to be a terrible experience for her. Maybe this was something he could ask Mr. Chris! Or that might be an awful idea. Ugh. What if she didn't want to move beyond hand-holding yet? He would never do anything without her consent. Thankfully, Frankie drew his attention away from these thoughts with such wonderful words. He would never consider himself "amazing", but it was still nice to hear—especially coming from Frankie.

"Sometimes I think it's all too much," he frowned, staring down at his palms. "This power—the power to create and alter life—should belong only to a higher power. How can someone like me expect to manipulate what was meant for only God to control? I don't know whether to be terrified by my power," he looked back up at Frankie. "Or humbled by the fact that I could build a hundred thousand gardens and they still wouldn't compare to the beauty God created in people like you."

Where did that come from? Lucas wasn't quite sure how he'd found those words. Ever since walking outside, he'd felt a surging confidence—a slight personality shift. The Lucas from December would have rarely found pride in his work and joy in his mutation. And he certainly wouldn't have said all that. He waited for Frankie's response while trying to figure out how to respond to it himself.

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 8 2018, 09:39 PM
QUOTE.  


Frankie considered that for a moment. Of course she disagreed with Lucas, because God didn’t make her. She knew his beliefs were different, but Frankie was distinctly aware of the process by which she was created, and God didn’t play any role in it besides being wielded as a mix of reason and weapon when her grandparents severed ties with their only daughter.

She knew Lucas had said something really nice. She truly knew that. But it was hard, for just a moment, to see past that invocation to what Lucas was saying about his own feelings.

“But you don’t,”
she reasoned, “not really, do you? Sunflowers already exist. They grow. You’re just helping them along their natural course.” She didn’t actually know if creating entirely new species was within Lucas’s abilities, and if it was then it was, well, that raised a whole new host of challenges—but for now, he wasn’t playing God. He was playing Earth and Sun.

“Lucas… if God made you, then God made you a mutant. Either He made you a mutant on purpose, or He made a mistake, there’s no other logical response. This is what you were meant to be.”




Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 11 2018, 09:23 PM
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Frankie and Lucas had engaged in some deep conversations over the past few months, but they typically avoided religion. He'd accepted long ago that their differing belief systems might clash from time to time, so he usually steered clear of anything that might accentuate said differences. Since arriving at the school, Lucas had encountered a great deal of variety which broadened his worldview; unfortunately, he sometimes fell back into his old pattern that took for granted people's parallel beliefs.

Lucas wasn't sure whether to appreciate his newfound confidence or worry over the fact that it had arisen seemingly out of nowhere. That might be something to track in the future. For now, the assurance with which he'd expressed that monologue/sermon vanished as soon as he realized he might've been forcing his views on Frankie.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I don't know what..." Lucas trailed off and stared at the ground. A few seconds later, he addressed Frankie's statement.

"I don't believe God makes mistakes," he started. That should have settled it. If God didn't make mistakes, then Frankie was right—God made him (and all mutants for that matter) this way on purpose. "It's just...it's really hard to explain. There's never been a stronger test to my faith than learning I'm a mutant. I'm trying, and I'm learning how to cope more every day, but it just doesn't fit everything I've been taught since I was a kid. And then there's the people at church giving Rahne and me dirty looks and cursing us under their breaths. That's not the type of selfless love I see in God. It's just all topsy turvy."

Lucas knew Frankie didn't share these beliefs, so he appreciated her allowing him this moment of self-reflection.

Frankie Kennedy-Park

This post has been edited by Equinox: Jun 11 2018, 09:29 PM
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 13 2018, 12:27 PM
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That had indeed been Frankie’s point. If God made Lucas, and God didn’t make mistakes, then Lucas was as he was meant to be. As God meant him to be.

She wasn’t entirely comfortable with the whole business, and that was just the reason. Christianity was about hate. At least as she had seen it. It was about hating gay people so much you screamed at them in the street. It was about hating mutants, just like Lucas said. Even for devout Christians like Rahne—not that Frankie would say it like that, but she couldn’t help thinking Rahne would be happier and have more friends if she talked to people instead of snapping at them for an insufficient Jesus Quotient.

And Lucas would be happier if he stopped running himself down for not adhering to a ridiculous standard like ‘good people are not mutants’. But… she knew his faith was important to Lucas. So even though it didn’t make sense to her, she tried to respect his beliefs.

Instead, she reformatted this into something she could grasp. Science. Logic. This was a situation with rules and a need to find a solution within explicit limits. It was what Frankie had spent hundreds of hours doing in the chemistry lab.

She stepped closer and reached up to touch his cheek gently, gaging his reaction because she knew her circulation wasn’t the strongest. It was her vague, giggly-embarrassed understanding that there was something sexy about ice cubes, but she was aiming for comfort. So if he looked shivery, she would take her hand away, or if he looked otherwise uncomfortable. But if he liked it, her hand could stay right there.

“Only God is perfect, right? Everyone else—they’re figuring it out. Just like you.”




Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 25 2018, 07:24 PM
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Had Lucas been paying attention to Frankie's movement, he would have frozen in place at the sight of her approaching hand. He wanted them to progress beyond hugs and hand-holding, but he wasn't entirely sure how to transition beyond this initial stage. As it was, he remained focused on his own monologue and didn't notice the approaching fingers until they were on his cheek. He flinched, not because of the cold (after months of freezing abilities, the cold didn't bother him anyway), but because it took him by surprise.

Lucas knew the bare minimum about chemistry, but he certainly recognized the fact a chemical reaction was taking place in his brain. He didn't want Frankie to move her hand; in fact, he wouldn't mind a second.

Sometimes Lucas wished Frankie could read his mind in addition to his emotions. There was so much he wanted to say right now. He wanted to tell that he was still figuring a lot out, but he knew exactly how he felt about her. He wanted to tell her that while only God was perfect, she was the closest thing to human perfection.

But he couldn't find the words.

Instead, he simply lost himself in Frankie's eyes.

"Thank you," Lucas responded. He didn't place his hand on Frankie's cheek, mainly because he thought it would be super weird to have them standing there with their hands on each other's cheeks. But he did bend over to hug her. "For what it's worth, no one might be perfect, but you're as close to perfect as a friend can get. And a girlfriend."

Not that he had any frame of reference for the latter, but he couldn't imagine anyone improving on Frankie's girlfriend traits.

(Sorry for the delay, Til!)


Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 26 2018, 03:15 PM
QUOTE.  


Frankie smiled. Of course it really wasn’t fair that Lucas had such a knack for saying the right thing, but that didn’t change the fact it was the right thing.

“Let’s sit down,”
she suggested. It was one of the ways they could get a little closer without the height difference stumbling block. (She was really going to have to figure out what to do about that. Stilts maybe.)

But it also let them disappear into the sunflowers for a moment.

“I mean… tomorrow, or the next day, or within a week everyone will know about it, but for now, this is ours,”
she said. And they were here, shut off from the world. And that was… intimate. Just being with him. Intellectually she knew the was choosing to focus on the stalks and they were hardly hidden, but it did not change the feeling.

Not that Lucas’s ice powers hadn’t been fantastic, especially with Frankie trying to keep her igloo from melting. Yet Frankie could understand how this one was different, more glorious. She didn’t agree with his interpretation. She understood the reasoning, though. This was really something.



Equinox
(Ohmigod I was distraught! …no, just kidding, I always love posts from you but real life comes first http://files.b1.jcink.com/html/emoticons/smile.gif)

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Equinox
 Posted: Jun 30 2018, 08:13 PM
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Sitting down was a terrific idea, mainly because it would give his shoulders and back a rest from constantly hunching over. He adored Frankie the way she was and wouldn't change anything about her! That being said, he wouldn't mind her hitting a growth spurt over the next couple years for his own lumbar support. Sitting also gave his legs a break, as he'd gone a little weak at the knees from Frankie touching his cheek.

Lucas was still taller than Frankie when seated, but it certainly reduced the distance between their....well certain parts of their faces. Their eyes! Yep, their eyes!

"I like something being ours," he replied, smiling at her. "It feels special, like we can just disappear here into our own little world." They weren't exactly hidden; anyone walking along the forest tree-line would break this sense of isolation. But Lucas chose to accept fantasy over reality. He would have made a "Bridge to Terabithia" reference, but considering what happened in that book it might not have been the best idea.

This was the most intimate they'd ever been, and Lucas made no effort to hide his emotions. In a risky move (for them), he leaned his head against Frankie's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Could they just stay here forever?

One might have expected the next words out of Lucas's mouth to be something romantic, but he'd found the right words too many times for that to continue. "I should have brought some bug spray," he said apologetically. "Oops." It wasn't night time, but even during the day sitting on the ground like this was just inviting bugs to crawl all over them.


Frankie Kennedy-Park

This post has been edited by Equinox: Jun 30 2018, 08:13 PM
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jun 30 2018, 10:47 PM
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“It’s okay,” Frankie said, not really minding the bugs. She put an arm around his shoulders, enjoying the closeness. And maybe, just maybe, it was intentional the way her fingers rested above the neckline of his shirt. He was so warm. Physically, yes, but mostly it was the emotional warmth, the feeling of trust.

Maybe it was that.

Maybe it was the feeling of being in their own little world, or the sense of isolation, that it was just the two of them, that Frankie felt her throat starting to work around words she hadn’t thought she could say around so many people. Partly the enhanced senses thing, she wasn’t stupid, but mostly because she knew it would trigger certain feelings. The kind she didn’t want to share with just anyone.

“Lucas, you know I… you know how with my powers, I remember stuff?”
she asked. She swallowed. “Um… lately I’ve been… seeing some stuff. My biological dad, he, I don’t think… he was a good person.”

And, on the other hand, maybe this was completely insane because he had literally just remembered her and this was not a great ‘nice to see you’.



Equinox

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Equinox
 Posted: Jul 3 2018, 11:25 PM
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Hey, maybe if Lucas could control plant life, he could control other aspects of nature, too? Staring down at the ant crawling up his arm, he tried to connect with it on a deeper level. The ant paused and looked up at him, and for a moment Lucas thought he'd uncovered a new facet of his spring powers. A few seconds later, though the ant tilted its head in confusion and turned to continue on its merry way.

So much for that.

Frankie and Lucas sat there in silence for a minute or two, simply appreciating each other's company. In the past, Lucas would have felt the need to break this silence so that Frankie wouldn't think him boring, but he'd thankfully matured beyond that. When she eventually spoke, Lucas listened attentively. At her first question, he slowly nodded his head and looked up at her. The following statement, however, caught him slightly off guard.

Sitting up a bit, he shuffled his position so that his arm could loop around Frankie's back. This sacrificed physical comfort for emotional support, but he didn't see a problem with that.

At first, Lucas didn't know what to say. He wanted to find some secret, hidden advice that might provide the key to solving Frankie's struggle. He wanted to tell her that, no matter what her biological dad might have done, she was a good person and nothing in the past could change that. Right now, though, he wasn't sure Frankie needed advice. She probably just needed a boyfriend who would listen.

"What kind of things have you seen?" If she didn't feel comfortable reliving those memories, that would be perfectly fine. He wouldn't push further. If, however, she chose to proceed, he'd be there with literal open warms.

Frankie Kennedy-Park
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Frankie Kennedy-Park
 Posted: Jul 3 2018, 11:50 PM
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Frankie leaned into Lucas—that had definitely been the right move—but even though there was nothing wrong with his question, she struggled to answer. She opened her mouth, tried but… these just weren’t things she knew how to put into words!

“I… it’s… oh my God, her face, my mom’s face the day when—this one time—w-we had left him, we were—the first time,”
she managed, then took a breath. Then another one. “The first time we left him, I was still a baby. And a few months later, he just walked in the door, and she was so scared.”

There was something else, something Frankie didn’t understand but wasn’t ready to touch. The day they learned her biological father was dead, her mom couldn’t stop smiling.

“He would get mad. Do things, he—and I could hear them, I could hear my mom…”


She looked away, shook her head. She pulled her sleeve up to wipe her face, for all the good it did. Then, for a moment she froze. Frankie had been trying to process all of it and not sure how. Talking helped smooth things out, but it also raised questions, connections she hadn’t been ready to make.

“Oh God…”


Frankie rubbed her palms against her knees like she was trying to brush off dirt. Only frantic.

“What if he… what if I’m…”


She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t. The idea was awful enough as a feeling; she didn’t know that she could face it in words.



Equinox

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